Sex and the City 2. Divas! Yeah!

I won't even go into the plot or subplot or whatever is involved in the tripe that is Sex and the City 2. All I know is that it's set in Abu Dhabi or somewhere. I was disappointed to find out that they weren't stoned to death or flogged to death at the end of it, which is a shame. It would be great to see the end of the 3 hookers and their mother.

I'm not sure what positives women take from these kind of movies other than possibly being a diva is cool, or being a glorified high class hooker who shags your way around the five boroughs is considered career progression. Diva is just another word for being a self centered stuck up bitch who deserves everything bad thing that comes her way in life. Simple as...

Just back from "Lahndahn tahn innit". It was too hot and too humid, but I tried my best to get over it by ramming as much cold beer down my throat as I could manage. Problem was I had only one mouth for my two hands.
For some reason, I can never have a normal night out. It always ends up with a twist. I always end up talking to slightly odd people. Like attracts like I suppose!

Big Brother is back on I hear. Fucking hell...

Vincent Gallo. I'll salute you at least, as for lazy gig reviewers.....

Vincent Gallo. You probably think you don't know him, but I'd say you have seen him somewhere. He has been in H&M adverts and in films, written music, directed films and so on. Do a search online if you don't believe me.
He is known for his outspoken views, and for generally being hostile in nature, and for that I say, fair play to him. Check him out in Glassjaw's video for the song "Cosmopolitan Blood Loss" to see him play a bitter auld fecker and do what everyone should do to shit buskers! I'll end up like that, and bring it on is all I say. Nice suit and hair by the way.
He once stated  "I stopped painting in 1990 at the peak of my success just to deny people my beautiful paintings; and I did it out of spite." I love it!
I have no idea what his films or music are like, but I'd say he'd be good craic down the pub, so if I ever met him, I'd buy him a beer.


Anyways, enough about that man. My next gripe is with fuckers who review gigs, who know nothing about the band they are reviewing. I went to see the John Butler Trio a few weeks ago, and it was a good gig. To fans of the trio, it was good. But the reviewer in Hot Press didn't seem to know any of their stuff, so just gave a *meh* review. That's like sending me to a Spice Girls gig. I'm going to say it's shit because I don't like the Spice Girls. But if they sent someone who was a pop music fan, and knew the Spice Girls albums inside out, then they could give a more accurate review. The Hot Press reviewer also went on to say the show was too long and an intermission would have been a good idea. What the fuck? Why didn't you just stay at home if you were tired or get someone who actually knows what a John Butler set list or gig will be like. I fucking hate it, and it does my head in. So much so I will write a letter of complaint to Hot Piss!!!
I recall years ago reading a review about an Alice in Chains live album. The reviewer started by slagging off grunge music, and then, surprise, surprise, went on to say that the album was rubbish!!! No shit!!!!


Finally. Grey's Anatomy. STOP HAVING LOVEY DOVEY MOMENTS OVER THE BLOODY OPERATING TABLE WHILE THERE IS A PATIENT WHO COULD POTENTIALLY DIE!! If I was a patient in intensive care, and 2 surgeons or doctors were flirting while they were tampering with my insides, I'd lay into them with my fists once I got better. Who's the main one in it? The skinny one. I can't remember her name in real life or her character. She's so fucked up from her love life, she shouldn't be let near the gates of a hospital, not to mind a scalpel. 
Keep the private life out of the hospital, and get on with your jobs please! Bollox tv.

So negative, it's positive. A classic example...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0Gs4xGw1Eg

Words could not describe this. So listen. This is for all you struggling musicians. So negative, it's positive. SO bad, it's good. Funny because it's true etc etc....

Cats and Dogs that go in handbags......No!!!!!

What is the point of cats and little ornament dogs? Why would you want a scrawny little dog that you would carry around in your handbag? What's wrong with a teddy bear?

First of all, dogs are used to running around in shite and muck, and jumping through ditches, and killing rabbits and attacking cats, and biting your neighbours arses. They are not meant to be sitting up on the back of the couch farting little pink clouds of smoke, or hanging out in the salon while their owners are getting their teeth and arse polished.

Dogs should be big and full of energy, and bouncing around in fields, not in Gucci handbags. I blame Sex and the City and those other make believe programmes that women seemed to base their lives around. When life didn't turn out like season 5 episode 6 of said programme, they just go fecking mental. Well, tough shite, you're living in Ireland, not New York, so get the fuck over it.

Anyways, back to small dogs in handbags. They should be boiled up and made into stew for cattle. Alsatians. Cocker Spaniels. Labradors. Those are REAL PROPER bloody dogs, not these metrosexualised pansy yolks off the tv. Thanks goodness the Celtic tiger is over, so people can't indulge in that tripe.

Cats. Don't get me started on cats. The most selfish animal ever. At least a dog will kind of hang around looking for food. Cats only do stuff to suit themselves. They might hang around the house for a while, then they might piss off for a few weeks. It's up to them you know.
You will never win over their affections unless there's something in it for them. A bit like women actually. Only messing. Possibly...

Cats and little ornament dogs. Ship them off out of here to the north pole where they can shiver their little arses to death.

Not so negative really,but f**king good tunes

well, they are stuck down in a basement, so you could say that that's a bad dose, but their tunes aren't bad.
http://pitchfork.com/tv/#/episode/2092-vampire-weekend/3

Humans! Know Your Place!

So half of Western Europe has ground to a halt because of a Volcano, and there's loads of smelly people stranded in airports. I heard lots of them on the radio and tv saying how much of an inconvenience it is.
I wouldn't be so sure. I'd love to be trying to get home the long way round. Think of all the countries, cities, and people you will see and meet that you wouldn't have up to last week. I would also love nothing more than to be walking around an airport in my underpants. It would be liberating.
It's also funny that lots of dolly birds are running out of makeup and smelly perfume in some stuffy sweaty airport lounge, while they are waiting to board a plane that's never going to take off. Usually accustomed to be pampered and spoiled, they now have to rough it like the rest of us. Welcome to the real world! You never saw this on Sex and the City!!
On the other hand, there are lots of dudes in power suits and fancy shirts trying to get back from business meetings, now smelling of onions.
You may as well cut the sleeves off and have a bit of fun.
Get on the ships with the unclean and get stuck into the cider with the truckers.
In the grand scheme of things, nature has firmly put us in our place, and rightly so. As you price that BMW, you're only a moment away from a  volcanic onslaught. Don't take life so seriously. We're all going to die anyways.
Between the recession and the grounded flights, it's just the pits isn't it? No it's not. It's great. Expect the worst. Hope for the best.
It's like a wanker of a neighbour burning plastic in the back garden, and anyone within a mile of the house has to keep the windows closed. What would you do about it?

Hello and do you really care..

Hi all,


First post, and hopefully the first of many.
Did you wake up this morning, and think "Fuck it, I could just stay in bed". Well, I'm like that most days. It's great from time to time, when you go through patches of "Fuck the World" syndrome. I'm like that on and off, but it's never serious enough to get in the way of shit. If it does for you, then log off this site, and get some real help. This is a just a humorous look at negativity.
For example, you always hear people saying "you should go and chat to that hot chick, she might ask you on a date bla bla bla wank wank". Don't bother, because she will say no, or check your bank balance, or just screw you around and wreck your head. So, don't bother!! Know what I mean? Yes you do because we've all been there. Maybe it works the same way for women, I dunno, and to be honest, I couldn't care less.
Expecting the worst and hoping for the best can be a good thing, because when something good happens, it's extra good. Rather than being positive all the time, it makes the good times even better. Better than positive Joe who only has *meh* positive moments, because he's too busy being positive and happy the rest of the time..!
I hope to add some funny podcasts as I go, so bear with me, and hopefully people with a grey attitude to life will contribute to actually make this funny!


Here's a good pic to start with: