What is the point of cats and little ornament dogs? Why would you want a scrawny little dog that you would carry around in your handbag? What's wrong with a teddy bear?
First of all, dogs are used to running around in shite and muck, and jumping through ditches, and killing rabbits and attacking cats, and biting your neighbours arses. They are not meant to be sitting up on the back of the couch farting little pink clouds of smoke, or hanging out in the salon while their owners are getting their teeth and arse polished.
Dogs should be big and full of energy, and bouncing around in fields, not in Gucci handbags. I blame Sex and the City and those other make believe programmes that women seemed to base their lives around. When life didn't turn out like season 5 episode 6 of said programme, they just go fecking mental. Well, tough shite, you're living in Ireland, not New York, so get the fuck over it.
Anyways, back to small dogs in handbags. They should be boiled up and made into stew for cattle. Alsatians. Cocker Spaniels. Labradors. Those are REAL PROPER bloody dogs, not these metrosexualised pansy yolks off the tv. Thanks goodness the Celtic tiger is over, so people can't indulge in that tripe.
Cats. Don't get me started on cats. The most selfish animal ever. At least a dog will kind of hang around looking for food. Cats only do stuff to suit themselves. They might hang around the house for a while, then they might piss off for a few weeks. It's up to them you know.
You will never win over their affections unless there's something in it for them. A bit like women actually. Only messing. Possibly...
Cats and little ornament dogs. Ship them off out of here to the north pole where they can shiver their little arses to death.
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what the fuck man!
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